Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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