playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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