Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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