Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize