Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize