it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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