He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Someone shit on the floor
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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