Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
