i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
