But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
