I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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