oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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