I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
