yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
