wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she looked like the before picture.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
