Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
