Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's rum buckets o'clock
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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