I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
