I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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