I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize