There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
