Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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