Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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