Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and she was petting her beer can
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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