yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
