I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
