You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.