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She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
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