mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.