That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
