Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
