I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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