Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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