I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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