You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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