My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
