go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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