you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
