I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
