so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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