i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
