For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
