I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
