oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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