apparently the secret to your success is patron
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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