You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Girls should come with a carfax report
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I pour the whiskey from now on
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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