"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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