i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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