remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
