I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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