Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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