There was a lot of him and a little penis
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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