Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
