i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
