Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
