btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
