Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
