ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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