Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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