i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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